How to Overcome Top 3 Most Common Mind Traps

How to Overcome Top 3 Most Common Mind Traps

In this blog, I’m sharing the top 3 common mind traps I often hear in coaching sessions with my clients..

First thing first. What is a mind trap?

A mind trap is a common mental pattern, a negative feedback loop or a ‘rut’ that exacerbates stress and pain.

This is based on the book called Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook by Bob Stahl and Eisha Goldstein and I specifically studied this from my Yoga Psychology training with Ashley Turner years ago.

There are actually 7 common mind traps but in this blog post I will be sharing the top 3 most common mind traps I often hear in coaching sessions with my clients.

You may notice that you tend to have a specific mind trap based on your Dosha, your natural constitution, and also your current imbalances.

Once you begin to become aware of what thought patterns you tend to find yourself in, you can begin to become more mindful and shift focus to choose your thoughts more wisely.

Here are top 3 most common mind traps and how to overcome them.

#1. Emphasizing the negative. Discounting the positive.

I’m definitely guilty of this!

The effect of this can lead to anxiety, depression, insecurity, and also being highly critical and overly judgmental.

A couple of examples of this are, you may be dating someone new and your friend asks how things are going.

And you say… “He’s a great guy, but I don’t know if I’m really that attracted to him.”

Or you were asked about your new job and you say… “It’s going great and people in my team are lovely, but I have so much to do and I have no life!”

I can imagine some of you nodding your head right now – and you probably do this on a regular basis.

I challenge you to start observing how you tend to emphasize the negatives in your conversations with others or even with yourself.

So next time when people ask how you are, or how your job is going, or how your relationship is going, just notice if you tend to focus on the negatives.

A remedy to this is to replace ‘but’ with ‘and’ to at least give as much as equal weight to both.

It doesn’t have to be black and white for everything – although I have to say I’m pretty much a black and white person!

But we need to learn to recognize that things can be good and bad – so you can love your job and dislike your boss at the same time. Or you can love your friends and not want to live with them at the same time.

Next time you find yourself thinking or discussing something, consciously remind yourself to replace ‘but’ with ‘and’ in your conversation.

And train the mind to recognize and register the good in people, things and any situations.

I know this sounds very simple, but it’s actually not that easy to do and it’s a skill you need to master!

It’s also a discipline you need to develop to constantly train your mind to think differently.

Another tool you can practice to overcome emphasising negatives is gratitude journaling or gratitude meditation.

You can practice gratitude in different ways.

You can write down in your journal what you are grateful for, or you can practice it as part of your daily yoga practice.

Or you can even practice gratitude with your partner or your family at your dinner table or before bed or even with your friends as well!

I personally tried many different ways before so experiment and choose what feels best for you.

Some days, you may struggle to think of any. If that happens, take a pause, place your hand on your heart and close your eyes. And feel your gratitude.

Whichever ways you choose to practice your gratitude, I encourage you to make gratitude practice a part of your daily routine, to remind yourself that your life is full of abundance, joy & happiness.

#2. Negative Self-Talk (Self-Beat)

Negative self-talk is often a result of the previous mind trap, which is emphasizing the negative. discounting the positive.

Again, I’m guilty of this one too!

So have a think about how many times have you thought that “I’m not good enough…” to apply for the job you want, or express your opinions in a meeting… or even speak up to your boss?

The effects of this can be intense self-criticism, shame, insecurity, self-doubt leading to fear and also procrastination.

Some examples of this are, as I mentioned earlier, “I’m not good enough because…”

Or “I’ll do this when…”

The remedy for this is to start learning to observe your thoughts like mental events, instead of reality.

Recognize that because you have this thought it doesn’t mean it’s true.

#3. The ‘Should’s’

This is a form of negative self-talk and this creates guilt, stress and also shame when you don’t live up to your own expectations.

It also creates anger & resentment when others don’t live up to your expectations.

You may also find yourself constantly comparing your insides to other people’s outsides. This is so prevalent now with social media as people are constantly sharing their curated version of their lives.

And finally this also creates FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out.

And again you may see something people are sharing on social media and feel like you are missing out if you don’t have this thing in your life.

An example thought is “I should have XYZ by this point in my life.”

So things like, “I should be earning this amount of money by now”

Or “I should be married by now”

Or “I should have kids by now”

Have a think of how many times you are saying “I should” on a daily basis.

The remedy for this is moving from judgement to understanding.

The great way to do this is flip your ‘should’s’ to positive affirmation or mantra.

So write down your ‘shoulds’ in your journal and then first acknowledge how far you have come and that you are exactly where you need to be right now.

Then flip your ‘should’s’ to positive affirmation.

For example, if you are thinking “I should be earning this amount of money by now”.

Write this down in your journal and take a pause and acknowledge how far you have come.

Then choose 2 or 3 adjectives.

So you could say something like, “I’m hard-working, enthusiastic and determined and I’m on the right path to get to the next level of my career”.

Whenever you have your ‘should’s’ come up, you have this affirmation to reframe your negative self-talk.

If you’re new to Ayurveda or even you have taken a Dosha quiz before this one will reveal something new – I promise 😊 Take this quiz and discover your Ayurvedic Dosha (mind-body type), uncover your strengths and weaknesses, and find out what might be holding you back from living your best life.

Please feel free to forward this to a friend, colleague or family member who you feel could benefit.

Did you enjoy this blog post or have questions? DM me via Instagram and let me know!